


What lucky loser parties are for

by Theweirdslingshot



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), IT - Stephen King, Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, a large fucking crossover, crossovers, groupchats, this is gonna be fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-01-22 11:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theweirdslingshot/pseuds/Theweirdslingshot
Summary: The children from a series of unfortunate events, stranger things, it and Charlie and the chocolate factory all slowly start to meet each other through group chats. It includes lots of questions, lots of spam, and of course, swearing.The first four chapters are only introductions to all the children, and have very little to do with each other. The real crossover starts in chapter 5!
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Klaus Baudelaire/Duncan Quagmire, Violet Baudelaire/Isadora Quagmire, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 23
Kudos: 96





	1. ASOUE characters - introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1-4 have very little to do with each other and only introduces characters. If you're not interested in ASOUE characters, you can skip this chapter.

_Quigley has added Violet, Klaus, Isadora, Duncan & Fiona to the chat._

_Quigley has named the chat "What friends are for"_

Quigley: Good day folks!

Violet: Hey! Nice to have a group chat.

Klaus: Wish Sunny and Beatrice could join, but they have yet to learn to write!

Fiona: How is Sunny and Beatrice?

Violet: SunnyandBeatrice.jpg

Duncan: You can send pictures??

Isadora: Yeah, Duncan? Why couldn't you?

Violet: By the way, I think we need to make some funnier names for ourselves.

Isadora: Yeah! That's what group chats is all about!

Quigley: We will make it even funnier! The one who writes under my comment gets to write my new nickname for the chat! And the one under them gets to write their nickame, and so on!

Isadora: Dibs!

Violet: Dibs on Isadora ;)

Duncan: Dammit I wanted Isadora

Klaus: I will make you justice, Duncan!

Fiona: Hmm yeah I have an idea for Klaus

Quigley: Ok! Let's rename each other!

_Quigley changed Fiona's name to "Triangle Eyes"._

_Isadora changed Quigley's name to "Explorer"._

_Violet changed Isadora's name to "Sassy Sappho"._

_Duncan changed Violet's name to "Purple Ed"._

_Klaus changed Duncan's name to "The informer"._

_Fiona changed Klaus's name to "Dictionary"._

Triangle Eyes: Quigley what

Purple Ed: Duncan explain

The informer: You know how you used to be called "Ed"? Well, Violet is a shade of purple and... yeah.

Purple Ed: Ok that makes sense

Sassy Sappho: Am I the only one who feels like Klaus and Duncan's names are too similar

Dictionary: Gee thanks for this name, Fiona.

Triangle Eyes: ;P

Sassy Sappho: Guys am I the only one

Explorer: Thank you Isadora I now have Dora the explorer's theme in my head.

Sassy Sappho: But seriously guys AM I THE ONLY ONE

The informer: Q-Q-Q-Quigley! Quigley the explorer :D

Explorer: Fuck you

Sassy Sappho: I would like to have an answer

Dictionary: Isadora, me and Duncan are one of a kind.

The informer: <33

Sassy Sappho: So when Klaus types you react, but you ignore me.

Sassy Sappho: In fact, everyone ignores me.

Explorer: You are the new Carmelita

Purple Ed: OMG can we please invite Carmelita

Sassy Sappho: Fuck no

The informer: lol why

Triangle Eyes: Eh...

Dictionary: NO

The informer: NOOOO

Purple Ed: Ok. Chill. I'm only joking.

Purple Ed: Kinda.

  
Triangle Eyes: Hey, Quigley, you made this chat private, right?

Explorer: I think so, why?

Triangle Eyes: We don't want random people to come in here.

Explorer: Why would random people come in here?

Sassy Sappho: Spamming, saying hurtful things, spamming, sending inappropriate pictures, spamming, threathen to kill you, spamming...

Purple Ed: Wait, Isadora, has someone threatened to kill you?

Purple Ed: Isadora

Purple Ed: Isadora i'm getting worried

Sassy Sappho: You remember that chat I was in where people roleplayed Mean Girls characters?

Purple Ed: Aw, yeah! That was pretty boring, I left after a day or so

Sassy Sappho: Well, not long after you left, some new people entered the chat

Sassy Sappho: It was just two or three people I believe

Sassy Sappho: Anyway they start to spam A LOT.

The informer: Oh god

Sassy Sappho: So we told them to stop, but they didn't stop.

Sassy Sappho: Then... they wrote this

Sassy Sappho: trauma.jpg

Dictionary: Wow, I can barely look at the picture. Those comments are awful, Isadora.

Sassy Sappho: Like, they did threaten all of us instead of only one but it was still uncomfortable.

Triangle Eyes: What the fuck

Purple Ed: I don't know who that Max kid is, but I like how they roast the fuck out of those idiots

Sassy Sappho: Yeah Max was great. They and some other kids had really great comebacks.

Sassy Sappho: Wait you gotta see what this kid Richie said to them!

Sassy Sappho: Richie.jpg

Explorer: LMFAOOOOOOOOO

Purple Ed: Can Richie

Purple Ed: Be my husband

Purple Ed: Or is he gay

Sassy Sappho: Gay or bi. I think it depends on how you interpret him.

Triangle Eyes: Ok same

Purple Ed: Fucking same

Dictionary: GOD SAME

Purple Ed: Have you asked him tho

Sassy Sappho: No. I left the chat shortly after, and I forgot his, and everyone elses user names.

Explorer: Well, maybe one of these days he, or anyone else, will show up...

Sassy Sappho: By the way, Quigley. I have a better nickname for you.

_Sassy Sappho has changed Explorer's name to "Backpacker"._

Backpacker: Perfect.


	2. Stranger Things characters - introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1-4 has very little to do with each other, and is just to introduce characters! If you aren't particularly interested in the stranger things characters, you can skip it.

_Mike has added Will, Dustin, Lucas, El & Max to the chat._

_Mike has named the chat "The party"._

Mike: Hi! What do you say we all change our names?

_Will has changed their name to "Cleric"._

_Dustin has changed their name to "Bard"._

_Lucas has changed their name to "Ranger"._

_El has changed their name to "Mage"._

_Max has changed their name to "Zoomer"._

_Mike has changed their name to "Palladin"._

Cleric: Great idea to form a group chat, Mike!

Palladin: Thanks, Will.

Ranger: Yeah, this is gonna be awesome!

Bard: Finally, a groupchat! Great idea, Mike!

Palladin: Thanks, Lucas! Thanks, Dustin!

Zoomer: Alright, enough thanks.

Zoomer: Who has taken my skateboard?

Ranger: Why would someone take your skateboard?

Zoomer: I don't know! To mess with me?

Cleric: Well, I didn't take it.

Zoomer: Oh, don't worry Will. I don't think you took it either, you're too pure.

Bard: Why are you flirting with Will?

Zoomer: What-

Cleric: I-

Palladin: Dustin

Bard: What

Ranger: Dustin

Zoomer: excuseme.jpg

Bard: You can send pictures?

Bard: And why did you send a picture of a rainbow

Ranger: No one tell him

Palladin: No please no one tell him

Bard: Tell me what?

Cleric: ...

Bard: Tell me what GOD DAMMIT GUYS TELL ME

Bard: Hello????

Bard: Can someone PLEASE explain.

Zoomer: no

Bard: Is anyone going to- wait

Palladin: oh are you finally

Bard: I know how to get one of you to explain.

Cleric: Oh wait no

Ranger: Wait what

Cleric: I think he's gonna use the sacred weapon

Palladin: More like the sacred word

Ranger: Oh no

Zoomer: DUSTIN NO

Bard: Can someone PROMISE ME to explain?

Mage: Will is gay.

Palladin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Zoomer: DUSTIN DAMMIT

Bard: Wait WHAT

Ranger: How. Did you not know this.

Bard: Will did you tell everyone except me

Cleric: I didn't tell anyone, it was just so fucking obvious

Bard: ??

Zoomer: Literally.

Palladin: I have literally known since before I knew what gay was

Palladin: Like, one time I remembered me and Will playing Star Wars as kids, and he decided his ship was going to be a rainbow ship

Cleric: Rainbow ship with rainbow colored clones... what a time

Palladin: Yeah.

Palladin: Anyway I just figured from that

Ranger: And I just asked him once like "Hey are you gay, just wondering"

Cleric: "Yeah."

Ranger: "Cool."

Zoomer: And I just knew lmao

Bard: "Just knew"?

Mage: Max just knew. She said that.

Cleric: Yeah, don't you understand, Dustin?

Bard: I don't understand how you can "Just know!"

Palladin: It's a mystery, and it will always be a mystery. Move on.

  
Mage: Hello, what's "happy screams"`?

Palladin: MAX

Palladin: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING EL NOW

Zoomer: What would I tell her?

Palladin: El, promise me you tell where you heard those words.

Mage: Max told me those words when I asked her why Billy was screaming.

Ranger: MAX DON'T TAKE AWAY THE INNOCENCE OF EL

Zoomer: You're sounding like I introduced her to yaoi and yuri, or something

Mage: What's that?

Ranger: SOMETHING YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW

Mage: Ok then

Cleric: Wait are Max and El hanging out?

Bard: Without us?

Mage: Yes. Max and I are at my house.

Zoomer: DON'T COME OVER HERE.

Ranger: Chill, we aren't interested.

Palladin: As long as you're not spying on us

Palladin: Do not spy on us. Again.

Mage: I promise.

Zoomer: Fuck

Bard: But out of curiousity, what are two girls doing when they are alone?

Zoomer: Oh you know, paint nails, looks at posters and gush about boys

Cleric: So just like the movies, then?

Zoomer: ...

Zoomer: What do you fucking think

Zoomer: NO! We're actually doing sacred witchcraft.

Palladin: Since El actually has magical abilities, I 100% buy that.

Ranger: Yeah that makes sense. Have fun.

Bard: Yeah have fun with your witchcraft! <3

Cleric: Sounds awesome!

Mage: Thanks!

Zoomer: And also we will practise kissing

Palladin: Wait what


	3. IT characters - Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1-4 have very little to do with each other and is just to introduce characters. If you aren't interested in IT characters, you can skip this chapter.

_Bill has added Beverly, Richie, Stan, Mike, Eddie and Ben to the chat._

_Bill has named the chat "The Losers chat"._

Bill: Welcome, dear Losers!

Richie: Thank you, my boy. It is flattering to be here today!

Bill: So, do you want to keep your names or shall we change them

Beverly: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE

Mike: I'm fine with either

Eddie: Please keep or Richie's gonna name me something inappropriate

Richie: CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE

Stan: Ugh idk

Ben: Sure we can change names ^^

Bill: Then changing names it is!

Bill: But only I get to change them!

Richie: NOOO WHY

_Bill has changed Beverly's name to "Winter fire"._

_Bill has changed Richie's name to "Trashmouth"._

_Bill has changed Stan's name to "Bird Whisperer"._

_Bill has changed Mike's name to "The Detective"._

_Bill has changed Eddie's name to "Softie"._

_Bill has changed Ben's name to "Little heart"._

Bill: And of course, I need to have a mocking nickname too.

_Bill has changed their name to "Stutter"._

Stutter: Now!

Bird Whisperer: I like this name.

Softie: Can you explain this, big Bill?

Stutter: Nope.

The Detective: I feel cool

Trashmouth: Trashmouth's here to talk trash woop woop

Little heart: I think this nickname was very cute.

Winter fire: Ok I get it

Trashmouth: So what'cha all doin'

Bird Whisperer: Whispering to birds, obviously.

Trashmouth: Lmao Stanley be there like "Heyyo birdies im single"

Bird Whisperer: ...

Softie: Well, he's not entirely wrong, Stan. Birds are your only love in life.

The Detective: It's called being asexual, children.

Stutter: Not sure that's what it is

Bird Whisperer: It is alright, Bill, I am ace.

Stutter: It- what

The Detective: Yeah me and Stan are ace bros who watch birds together and have a happy life

Trashmouth: Get married, then.

Little heart: They won't marry until you and Eddie get married

Softie: Not until you and Beverly get married

Winter fire: Not until you and Richie get married

Trashmouth: NOT UNTIL YOU MARRY ME BEVVIE

Bird Whisperer: Not what I thought he would say...

Winter fire: Ok let's marry! Tomorrow at four, the Barrens.

Little heart: But I thought you and me would get married :c

Winter fire: We can all marry each other and live in a happy relationship of 7.

Bird Whisperer: Wtf

  
The Detective: bird.jpg

The Detective: This bird reminds me of Eddie

Softie: Why?

The Detective: Because it's tiny and innocent

Trashmouth: Also it refuses to pick up worms

Trashmouth: What the fuck kind of bird is this

Winter fire: EDDIE BIRD

Trashmouth: EDDIEEEEEEE BIIIIIRD

Softie: Can Bev and Rich start their own groupchat?

Winter fire: Already done!

Trashmouth: We call it "bisexual trashtalk".

Softie: I thought Richie was gay?

Stutter: Richie is what he is

Trashmouth: I'm only gay for you, Eddie-bear

Little heart: May I ask what you've wrote in the chat thus far?

Winter fire: distinguishedbis.jpg

Softie: You are far from distinguished bis.

Bird Whisperer has taken a screenshot.

Bird Whisperer: Sorry! Didn't mean to!

Bird Whisperer: I only take screenshots of birds!

Winter fire: It's ok Stan yo

Bird Whisperer: Did you accidentally send before finishing the sentence?

Trashmouth: bev

Little heart: Beverly

Trashmouth: Guys Beverly is typing something on our bi chat

Trashmouth: Oh

Stutter: What did she say

Softie: SCREENSHOT RICHIE

Trashmouth: whatthefuck.jpg

Softie: What

Bird Whisperer: Guys I can't see the pic my internet is bad, what does it say?

Trashmouth: "Hello. This is Beverly's father. I don't like the language i've seen you used in this group. If I find you using this language again, I will make sure my daughter don't spend any more time with you."

Bird Whisperer: What the fuck.

Little heart: Oh no I hope he doesn't see this conversation.

Winter fire: Hi guys

Winter fire: What's wrong?

Softie: Bev is your dad ok

Winter fire: Well

Winter fire: He just got to know i'm bi so

Stutter: What!

Winter fire: Yeah

The Detective: What did he say

Winter fire: "As long as you don't have an orgie in a sewer or something."

Trashmouth: hdmfgnugreorwiquwenxreyjk whAt

Winter fire: Ok no he didn't say that but I PROMISE that's what he was thinking

Winter fire: Lmao my dad is so weird he hates that I have guy friends but if I ever would kiss a girl he would freak out

Trashmouth: Lots of men are like that to their daughters tbh

Trashmouth: Like "No daughter of mine is gonna date a boy!"

Trashmouth: Then she starts dating a girl and he's like "what"

Winter fire: Lol he took it better than I imagined tho

Winter fire: My dad only approve Richie and Eddie because he thought Richie wasn't straight from the moment he saw him, and Eddie is too small and innocent.

Trashmouth: Well he just threatened to not let me hang out with you because of my trashtalk

Little heart: Aren't I small and innocent?

Winter fire: Apparently not lmao

Little heart: I take that as a compliment tbh

The Detective: Anyway, guys I gotta go now

Softie: Yeah same if my mom finds me chatting she will look through all the chats

Softie: If she finds out anything I don't want her to find out, then i'm dead

Stutter: You got our support, Eds!

Little heart: yeah I probably need to go too

Trashmouth: Bye guys see ya later

Bird Whisperer: Goodbye!


	4. CATCF characters - Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1-4 have very little to do with each other and is just to introduce characters. If you're not interested in CATCF characters, you can skip this chapter.

_Mike has added Augustus, Veruca, Violet & Charlie to the chat_

_Mike has named the chat "The lucky five"_

Mike: Hi... you guys. Since i'm apparently the only one to know how to start a chat, here we are.

Augustus: Hello Mike!! How are you?

Mike: I'm fine...

Veruca: Hello. How's it been since the factory?

Violet: I'm less blue now, that's good.

Mike: I have shrunken to pretty much normal size, it's like when I grow I get shorter

Augustus: I'm eating less chocolate... got trauma

Violet: Yeah Augustus we got trauma too

Charlie: Good to hear you're all doing better!

Mike: Oh hey Charlie how did it feel to win

Mike: How does it feel to own a gross chocolate factory with a psychopath

Violet: Wow Mike you're a little angsty

_Violet has changed Mike's name to "Angsty"._

Angsty: Oh fuck you

Charlie: Don't use such a bad language!

_Angsty has changed Charlie's name to "Angel boy"._

_Angsty has changed Augustus's name to "Candy man"._

_Angsty has changed Violet's name to "Blueberry"._

_Angsty has changed Veruca's name to "Squirrel"._

Angsty: Fuck you all

Squirrel: Mike invites us to a chat, and then says "fuck you" to us all.

Blueberry: Told you he's angsty

  
Candy man: Hey Charlie how is Wonka to you

Angel boy: He is fine. He only really need some love, that's all

Squirrel: Doesn't the Oompa Loompas give him love?

Angsty: No he keeps them as fucking slaves

Angel boy: Of course! The Oompa Loompas are really nice!

Angel boy: It's almost like they have their own little society here!

Mike: Slaves.

Angel boy: There's even some children! Wait, let me show you.

Angel boy: babyoompa.jpg

Candy man: Is that a baby oompa loompa?

Angel boy: Yes!

Candy man: Cute!

Squirrel: Also Mike, what do you mean by slaves?

Blueberry: Wondering that too

Blueberry: Wtf Mike explain

Angsty: Do you remember how Wonka like, told me I was mumbling all the time?

Angel boy: Yes

Angsty: Wonka knew I had cracked the system

Blueberry: You know I have always wondered what he meant by the system

Angsty: The system - how and when the chocolate bars with the golden tickets come out.

Candy man: Oh!

Angsty: Yeah, I got to learn so much more besides that... and let me just say Willy Wonka is a very fucked up man.

Angel boy: I think Willy Wonka has a big brain

Angsty: Oh he's got a big brain alright. He fooled us all.

Angsty: Tricked us into traps. Even tricked Charlie

Candy man: Wonka told me to not drink from the chocolate river, and I did it anyway. It was my own fault.

Blueberry: He told me to spit the gum out, and I didn't. And now i'm blue.

Squirrel: I didn't listen when he told me the squirrels weren't for sale

Angel boy: And you didn't listen when Wonka said in the TV room

Angsty: I know... and I regret it.

Angsty: I wonder if there's anyone else in this world who has gone through some shitty stuff

Blueberry: I mean

Blueberry: Probably

Blueberry: I mean my mom fucking sucks

Squirrel: Yeah

Squirrel: Not that I know your mother but she seemed to be pretty shitty

Angel boy: Veruca!

Blueberry: No she's right. My mom is shitty. I wish I knew someone with the same problem

Angsty: Trust me, Violet. Lots of people in the world have shitty parents. You just gotta keep an eye out for them

Blueberry: Yeah i guess...


	5. Three Mikes and a Quigley

_ What friends are for _

**Special message! You, together with three other chats have been selected to join a new chat of it's own! Time to make new friends and make peace and love! Hope to see you all there! To join, click here: ** [ ** https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ ** ](https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ)

Sassy Sappho: What the fuck

Purple Ed: Sounds like VFD propaganda

The Informer: Quigley you can try it

Backpacker: Why me

Dictionary: Because it's VFD

Triangle Eyes: It's a cult, Quigley

Backpacker: Ok stop

Sassy Sappho: If someone shall join it, it's you

Purple Ed: Won't you do it, Quiggie? For me?

Backpacker: Oh alright. But if it's scam i'm blocking you all.

Sassy Sappho: Violet how do you make everyone fall in love with you

Purple Ed: A teenage adoptive mother is very sexy to some people

Dictionary: Violet don't ever type something like that again or i'm not letting Beatrice sleep in the crib you invented for her!

Purple Ed: I am very sorry, I regretted typing it as soon as I sent it.

_Purple Ed has deleted a chat._

Backpacker: Alright guys, I'm ready.

Triangle Eyes: Go, Quigley!

_The party_

**Special message! You, together with three other chats have been selected to join a new chat of it's own! Time to make new friends and make peace and love! Hope to see you all there! To join, click here: ** [ ** https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ ** ](https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ)

Bard: Uh...

Ranger: How did... a message like that get in here

Mage: It wasn't me.

Mage: My powers can't do that.

Cleric: It is most likely a scam.

Zoomer: Mike, you were the one who created this chat. You have to examine it.

Palladin: But I don't want any viruses.

Bard: Mike please

Ranger: Do it for us.

Palladin: I don't know.

Zoomer: Michael Wheeler, for the love of god.

Mage: Mike, I would be happy if you did.

Palladin: I don't know...

Cleric: Mike.

Palladin: Oh alright.

Ranger: Yay

Zoomer: The power of the cleric Will Byers. Works every time.

Cleric: <33

_The Losers chat_

**Special message! You, together with three other chats have been selected to join a new chat of it's own! Time to make new friends and make peace and love! Hope to see you all there! To join, click here: ** [ ** https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ ** ](https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ)

Trashmouth: I promise I didn't do anything.

Bird Whisperer: I believe you. It's probably scam.

Stutter: I'm curious to see what happens when you press the link tho

Winter fire: You die a horrific death

Softie: Wait what

Winter fire: LMAO no.

Winter fire: I don't know what i'm writing.

Little heart: Who dares to click on it?

Stutter: Not me

Trashmouth: Pass

The Detective: I can do it

The Detective: I got nothing to lose anyway

Softie: Yeah, Mike! Go!

The Detective: Wish me luck

Little heart: Good luck!

Trashmouth: Luck

Winter fire: <3

Bird Whisperer: I wish you luck!

Stutter: Good luck!

_The lucky five_

**Special message! You, together with three other chats have been selected to join a new chat of it's own! Time to make new friends and make peace and love! Hope to see you all there! To join, click here: ** [ ** https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ ** ](https://youtu.be/Cv6tgnx6jTQ)

Candy man: What?

Angel boy: That is suspecting.

Angsty: Oh no is there popups on my chat

Blueberry: "Your" chat?

Angsty: Yes, my chat! I was the one who created it.

Squirrel: Mike, that doesn't mean it's your chat

Angsty: It does, too!

Candy man: Well, in that case, click on it

Blueberry: Yeah. Click on the link, to protect your chat.

Squirrel: Or are you afraid?

Angel boy: Please?

Angsty: I hate every single one of you.

Angsty: Fine.

Blueberry: We love you too <3

Angel boy: I don't hate you, Michael.

Squirrel: Hate is a strong word

Candy man: :-)

Angsty: fuckyou.jpg

Blueberry: That is the blurriest middle finger I've seen.

_New chat - Unnamed_

_Backpacker has joined the chat._

_Palladin has joined the chat._

_The Detective has joined the chat._

_Angsty has joined the chat._

Angsty: Uh... hello. Is is spam? In that case i'm reporting it.

The Detective: I have the same question.

Palladin: Me too.

Backpacker: Hm... I mean, all four of us have the same question, so... probably not?

The Detective: This is weird. Did you also get the message?

Palladin: Yep. Wonder how it came into my chat.

Backpacker: While we're all here... shall we introduce ourselves?

Palladin: Ok, let's say our names on

Palladin: 3

Palladin: 2

Palladin: 1

Palladin: Mike

The Detective: Mike

Angsty: Mike

Backpacker: Quigley

Backpacker: Fuck this is embarrasing.

The Detective: Lmao

Palladin: Three Mikes and a Quigley

Angsty: ...

Backpacker: So uh... do you have a backround for your names?

Backpacker: If you mind telling. I mean, this link said we would "get to know new friends"?

The Detective: I'm probably uninteresting, but I could tell you about the people in the groupchat the link was sent into.

Palladin: I'm sure you're interesting! Everyone is interesting!

Angsty: Oh fuck you're one of those guys, aren't you Mike

Palladin: Me or other Mike

Angsty: You

Backpacker: I can see why you're called angsty.

Palladin: If you want, I can happily tell you about my friends in my main groupchat.

Backpacker: Yeah, let's leave out our friends to strangers!

The Detective: Yay!

Angsty: They're not really my friends... but ok.

Palladin: In my groupchat there's Will, Lucas, Dustin, Max and El. Will is a really good artist, the sweetest boy you ever meet. Lucas is cool, he can aim with slingshots very well. Dustin is good with technology, though he doesn't have a lot of teeth because of a disease. Max is tough, she rides skateboards and roasts me really much. And El has superpowers, which is cool. You probably don't believe me, but she does.

The Detective: I do believe you. I have seen a lot of unexplainable things in my days.

Angsty: Well, I saw a girl get blown up into a blueberry, so I can kinda see this girl having superpowers.

Backpacker: I believe in the supernatural, so that seems completely ok.

Backpacker: Wait what Mike, you saw a girl get blown up into a blueberry??

Angsty: I... can tell you later. Someone else can go first.

The Detective: Aight. My turn.

The Detective: My groupchat consists of Bill, Beverly, Ben, Richie, Eddie and Stanley. We call ourselves the losers. Bill has a stutter, and is the general leader of the group. Beverly is the only girl, she smokes sometimes but she's cool. Ben writes poetry and is kind of an archeologist. Richie is a literal trashmouth, he always cracks inapropriate jokes. Eddie is tiny and afraid of everything. And Stanley likes to watch birds.

Backpacker: "And Stanley likes to watch birds."

Palladin: They sound awesome, Mike.

Backpacker: Also, I am SURE one in my groupchat has chatted with Richie before.

Backpacker: Like, we talked about someone named Richie

The Detective: not suprised.

Backpacker: Ok! My turn! If Mike doesn't want to go first?

Angsty: No, you can go...

Backpacker: So, my groupchat: My sister Isadora, my brother Duncan, and our friends Violet, Klaus and Fiona. Isadora writes sapphic poetry, and is generally sassy. Duncan is innocent and hopes to be a journalist when he grows up. Violet is an inventor and she's cool. Klaus is a walking dictionary, he's cool too. Fiona loves mushrooms and live in a submarine.

Backpacker: Also, Violet and Klaus have adopted a baby together with their baby sister.

Palladin: What

The Detective: Context, please.

Backpacker: We have gone through a real hell during the past years. Everyone has lost their parents, and that little baby's mother died in childbirth. Violet and Klaus, and their sister Sunny, were the only ones there to take care of her.

Palladin: Oh... i'm sorry.

Backpacker: You have nothing to say sorry for. It's very messed up, but we all went through it together. And we're fine now. Well, fine enough. Anyways. Other questions?

Palladin: How old are your siblings?

Backpacker: Both 13. We're all 13. We're triplets.

The Detective: Wow that's cool.

Palladin: Ohh it would be fun if you were identical

Palladin: Bet you and Duncan are identical atleast.

Backpacker: triplets.jpg

The Detective: Who is who omg

Backpacker: I'm the one making a salute, Isadora is the one sticking out her tounge and Duncan is the one looking suprised.

Angsty: It is impossible to be that identical if you're not all the same gender.

Backpacker: Well, we are that identical, and we are two boys and one girl.

Angsty: It doesn't work that way.

The Detective: Uh... it could

Angsty: No, it could NOT.

Palladin: There's literally proof of it on that picture.

Angsty: No.

Palladin: Should we tell him

Backpacker: No, I don't think so. Let him figure it out.

Angsty: What?

The Detective: Mike, can't you instead just tell us about your friends?

Angsty: Not until I talk to this Isadora or whatever. I want to explain to her how it's impossible to be so identical to her brothers.

Backpacker: I refuse to give you my sister's username just so you can explain to her it's impossible for her to be identical to her brothers. How would she even respond to that? I myself don't even know how to respond to that. You're just asking yourself for a block.

Angsty: ...

The Detective: Can you please tell us about your friends now, Mike?

Angsty: Fine...

Angsty: We're not exactly friends. We just won the same competition some years ago, and was brought on a tour to a factory. It was me, Augustus, Violet, Veruca and Charlie. One after one... we had to leave the tour early.

The Detective: Uh...

Angsty: Augustus fell into a chocolate river, and got sucked up a pipe. Violet got blown up into a blueberry. Veruca got attacked by squirrels and thrown into a garbage can. I... I got shrunk, and... it was the weirdest thing.

Palladin: Fucking what

Palladin: And what happened to Charlie?

Angsty: He lives in the factory now.

Backpacker: He's fucking what

Angsty: Yeah. He won the competition, which the prize was the whole factory.

Palladin: What

The Detective: I-

Angsty: It sounds unbelievable, I know

Backpacker: Every one of us has unbelievable stories. And i'm old enough to think people just don't make up random shit

Palladin: We should really invite our friends

The Detective: Oh you won't handle Richie

Angsty: You could invite your sister, Quigley. So I could explain.

Backpacker: ...

Palladin: It was nice talking to you, fellow Mikes.

Palladin: And Quigley.

Backpacker: Yeah. See you later. Gotta try to get someone I know to come in here.

The Detective: Yeah, same. See you!

Angsty: Eh, this was ok. Goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which characters do you want to be included in this new groupchat in the next chapter?


	6. Two Violets and an Isadora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: "Kids can be LGBTQ+, Mike"

_New chat - Unnamed_

Backpacker: Yo, should we invite our friends?

Angsty: Ugh, not all at once. Maybe one or two.

Palladin: Idk if i'm ready to let them in.

The detective: Me neither. It feels... strange.

Backpacker: I guess I could invite my friend Violet

Angsty: And invite Isadora. I need to explain...

Backpacker: Ugh fine.

Angsty: I maybe should invite one from my "friends" too.

_What friends are for_

Backpacker: Hello my friends and family! The group chat was not a scam. And I would like to invite some of you.

Backpacker: More specific, Violet and Isadora.

Sassy Sappho: Why us

Purple Ed: Yeah

Backpacker: Because I want Violet and there's a boy there who wants to know how Isadora can look identical to me.

Sassy Sappho: Oh boy

Sassy Sappho: Alright, send me in.

_New chat - Unnamed_

Purple Ed has joined the chat.

Sassy Sappho has joined the chat.

The Detective: Hello!

Backpacker: Mikes, this is Violet and Isadora.

Purple Ed: "Mikes?"

Backpacker: Yes, all of them are named Mike.

Sassy Sappho: WOOOOO that's sick bro

Angsty: I'm guessing you're Isadora, Sassy Sappho?

Angsty: Also, why are you named that?

Sassy Sappho: Why are you named Angsty?

Angsty: My name is Mike Teavee, and I am what my group of friends call "angsty".

The Detective: I'm Mike Hanlon. I am cool, I guess.

Palladin: I am Mike Wheeler and I love hanging out with my friends and play D&D

Purple Ed: Lmao no one asked you to introduce yourselves but i'm glad you did. I'm Violet Baudelaire. Adoptive mother of one. Inventor. Bisexual.

Palladin: Oooh you were that friend who had adopted a baby with your siblings!

Purple Ed: Yup!

Angsty: I know a Violet with a similar surname. Her name is Violet Beauregarde.

Purple Ed: That is freakishly similar.

Sassy Sappho: I'm Isadora Quagmire and I am a poet.

The Detective: A sapphic poet?

Sassy Sappho: You bet, Mike Hanlon.

Angsty: What's sapphic?

Purple Ed: One of these days, kid, you will learn.

Angsty: Isadora, Quigley told me you are triplets.

Sassy Sappho: Yep! Identical triplets!

Sassy Sappho: tripletselfie.jpg

Backpacker: I always love Duncan's frown in it

Angsty: How can you be so identical when not all of you are of the same gender

Sassy Sappho: Well

Sassy Sappho: Magic!

Purple Ed: Excactly.

Angsty: Magic doesn't exist.

Purple Ed: I see why you are called angsty.

Angsty: But it's... not how it works

Sassy Sappho: But that's what happened

Angsty: I DON'T UNDERSTAND

Backpacker: Isadora should we tell him

Sassy Sappho: No I want to know if this kid can solve this

Angsty: It's very impolite to not tell.

Angsty: Isadora, I will be back.

Sassy Sappho: Good luck.

_Blueberry has joined the chat._

Blueberry: Mike forced me to join.

Purple Ed: Which Mike

Angsty: Me

Purple Ed: Are you the other Violet?

Blueberry: My name is Violet, yes.

Purple Ed: Cool! Violet Squad

Blueberry: Uh I guess...

Sassy Sappho: Hello other Violet! My name is Isadora!

Backpacker: And I am Quigley! Isadoras triplet brother!

Blueberry: Ooh like identical triplets?

Sassy Sappho: Sure is!

Angsty: And that still doesn't make sense.

Angsty: I have thought about this the entire day and I don't understand.

Palladin: Oh boy

Palladin: Hi new Violet, i'm Mike Wheeler btw

The Detective: And i'm Mike Hanlon. I have nothing to say, just wanted to tell you I existed.

Blueberry: Hi Mikes

Angsty: Quigley and Isadora, how can you be identical. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU'RE ONE BOY AND ONE GIRL

Sassy Sappho: Ok Quigley, do you think we should tell him now? It's fun to see him figure it out but I am also a very impatient human in heart.

Backpacker: Go on, sis.

Sassy Sappho: Mike, have you heard about something called trans

Angsty: Yes?

Sassy Sappho: Yes.

Angsty: What has that has to do with

Angsty: ?????????????????

Angsty: You mean you

Sassy Sappho: I mean I

Angsty: But you're a child

Backpacker: And?

Angsty: Only adults can be trans?

Sassy Sappho: Wtf who taught you that

Sassy Sappho: It's like saying I can't be gay because i'm under 18.

Backpacker: Or worse, say I can't be introverted because I "talk much".

Angsty: But

Backpacker: But

Sassy Sappho: But

Purple Ed: But

Blueberry: Butt

Blueberry: But*

Purple Ed: Lmao

The Detective: Kids can be LGBTQ+ , Mike.

Angsty: I

Angsty: I'm sorry

Angsty: But I am not thrilled to be wrong.

Blueberry: The angsty know-it-all strikes again.

Sassy Sappho: It's ok, Mikey

Purple Ed: Btw, we should change the name of this group.

Sassy Sappho: You're the inventor, Violet. So, invent.

Backpacker: And you're a very good inventor, too!

Sassy Sappho: Shut up Quigley Violet is mine

Purple Ed: I told you guys i'm fine with dating you both.

Angsty: Polyamory is not the social norm.

Blueberry: Michael, I think they know that.

Purple Ed: Ok, I got a good name!

_Purple Ed has changed the chat to "What lucky loser parties are for"._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want any character to get more screentime, or have a suggestion, or something, then feel free to share that in the comments!


	7. Max and Richie join the crew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, everyone will say their names in the chat, so you won't forget.

_The party_

Palladin: Hey guys! Remember that group chat I joined?

Zoomer: Yeah?

Palladin: So, there's two other dudes named Mike

Ranger: Wow, why does everyone name their kid Mike lmao

Mage: Mike is a very nice name.

Palladin: Thank you, El!

Palladin: Anyway, there was also a boy named Quigley, and later his sister Isadora and their friend Violet, who's like, an adoptive mother at age 15

Bard: Wait what

Palladin: Yeah, and then there was another Violet who knew one of the Mikes and she had apparently blue skin or something??

Zoomer: Ok this sounds very interesting

Zoomer: Can I join

Palladin: Please join, Max.

_The Losers club_

The Detective: Please join that groupchat that got sent to us before

Little heart: I'm too scared.

Winter fire: TBH same, Ben. Mike, we don't wanna get viruses

The Detective: Do I look like I got a virus?

Trashmouth: Ok Mike's got a point

The Detective: Richie can you join

Trashmouth: Why me

The Detective: There are cute girls there

The Detective: And boys

Trashmouth: Why the fuck would I join a groupchat because some people are "cute"?

The Detective: I don't think anyone is straight

Trashmouth: OOOOOOOOOH OK IMMA JOIN

Winter fire: Lmao

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Trashmouth joined the chat._

_Zoomer joined the chat._

Palladin: Guys, this is my friend Max. Treat her with kindness.

Blueberry: Which one is Max?

Zoomer: Hello, I am Max.

Trashmouth: And I am Richard Tozier, good day.

The Detective: Richie, don't try.

Sassy Sappho: Wait... Richie Tozier? Have you been a roleplay groupchat before?

Trashmouth: ...maybe?

Sassy Sappho: Have you ever shouted at some dudes for being mean in a mean girls roleplay

Zoomer: Wait

Zoomer: Sassy Sappho, do you remember someone named Max in a mean girls roleplay

Sassy Sappho: Wait, "Movie-Janis"?

Zoomer: Uh-huh...

Sassy Sappho: OH MY GOD I roleplayed Musical-Janis!

Trashmouth: And both of you were great Janis-es, I should say

Zoomer: Omg Richie u were Aaron Samuels right

Trashmouth: No I was musical-Kevin

Zoomer: Ooooooh!!

Purple Ed: Uh, Richie? Hello, I'm Violet. A while ago Isadora, my dear friend, sent me some pics from that chat where you and Max roasted the crap out of some mean dudes and I just want to say. Big fan.

Trashmouth: SEE MIKE I TOLD YOU I HAD FANS.

The Detective: Beep beep Richie

Zoomer: What's "beep beep Richie"??

The Detective: That's what we say to him when he's annoying in my friend group.

Sassy Sappho: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

Purple Ed: Oh no what have you done

Sassy Sappho: BEE BOO BEE BOO BAAH BEE BIIII BEEE BAAAAA BEEP BEEP BEEP

Purple Ed: Isadora are you ok

Sassy Sappho: Kiss me and I might be ok

Backpacker: Isadora if this is what you call flirting I think we need to get you back in therapy

Trashmouth: lmao Mike we need to invite Bev here

The Detective: We. Do. Not. Invite. Bev. Here. It will become chaos.

Zoomer: Well it already looks like chaos right now.

Zoomer: Also, can everyone say their name? So I can remember

Sassy Sappho: Isadora

Purple Ed: Violet

Backpacker: Quigley

Blueberry: Violet

Trashmouth: Richie

The Detective: Mike

Angsty: Mike

Palladin: Mike

Zoomer: Mike, you don't have to say your name but ok-

Palladin: :-)

Zoomer: Anyway I'm Max for those who missed

Trashmouth: CAN EVERYONE SEND PICS OF THEMSELVES

Trashmouth: I NEED PICS

Angsty: I am not comfortable with publishing pictures of myself.

Blueberry: My mother always tell me to not post pics of myself to strangers. I hate her.

Blueberry: me.jpg

Zoomer: ialsohatemyparentssoheresapic.jpg

Backpacker: handsomesttriplet.jpg

Purple Ed: teenagemother.jpg

Palladin: coolboy.jpg

Sassy Sappho: iamnotaboy.jpg

The Detective: I don't think you need a pic of me.

Trashmouth: I'm gonna be nice and send a pic of me too

The Detective: Please say it's not that half naked picture-

Trashmouth: sexyfather.jpg

The Detective: PHEW

Trashmouth: Also Violet you're hot.

Blueberry: Which Violet?

Purple Ed: SEE KLAUS I TOLD YOU PEOPLE FOUND TEENAGE MOTHERS SEXY

Sassy Sappho: Violet, Klaus isn't in this groupchat

Purple Ed: INVITE HIM IN

Trashmouth: I meant the Violet with the rosy cheeks and bright smile.

Blueberry: ??????

Trashmouth: You know

Backpacker: We literally don't

Sassy Sappho: Anyway Purple Ed-Violet is mine, back off

Backpacker: She's mine, too

Angsty: But aren't you two siblings?

Backpacker: Me and Isadora are siblings, yeah

Angsty: And you are both dating Violet

Purple Ed: Correct.

Angsty: That's incest.

Purple Ed: The fuck, no

Angsty: Uh, siblings who date are incest

Backpacker: What the fuck dude do you think me and Isadora are dating!?

Sassy Sappho: We both date Violet. We don't fucking date each other dipshit

Angsty: But if you both date her you date each other

Purple Ed: That is literally not how it works

Blueberry: Guys I can kick Mike out of the group

Trashmouth: Which Mike?

Blueberry: Angsty Mike

Angsty: I'm just trying to explain to them how it works

Blueberry: Well nobody wants to hear your bullshit explanations, Michael.

_Blueberry has kicked out Angsty from the chat._

_What friends are for_

Dictionary: Hey guys, how's it going?

Purple Ed: KLAUS!! GET IN THAT GROUPCHAT

Dictionary: Why?

Sassy Sappho: Please just do.

The Informer: If Klaus joins, I join

Sassy Sappho: Yes Duncan join

Dictionary: I don't want to join.

The Informer: Then I don't want to join.

Triangle Eyes: Yo what's up

Purple Ed: We want Klaus to join that groupchat

Dictionary: And I don't wanna

Dictionary: I feel like they want to get me in some drama

Sassy Sappho: We do. Join.

Dictonary: No.

Backpacker: Leave Klaus for now, girls. We can try to get him there another time.


	8. Little Charlie joins the chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lucky five - the CATCF cast  
What lucky loser parties are for - the crossover chat
> 
> Everyone will say their names atleast twice. Also, I created a system for the three Mikes, which is also explained in the fic. But in case you're confused:  
Angsty - Mike from CATCF. Called "Michael" from here on.  
The Detective - Mike from IT. Called "Mikey" from here on.  
Palladin - Mike from ST. Still called Mike.

_The lucky five_

Candy man: Hello friends!

Candy man: Marry christmas!

Squirrel: It's "merry" christmas, Augustus, but yes. Merry christmas!

Candy man: Oh. Sorry, english is not my first language.

Angel boy: I haven't heard from you in a while. How is everyone?

Squirrel: Quite fine.

Candy man: Very good!

Blueberry: Yo, I am pleased this fine christmas.

Angsty: Still mad over Violet kicking me out of that groupchat...

Blueberry: I did it because you're questioning the other people too much.

Angsty: But I didn't get them? How can you be trans at such a young age? How can two siblings date the same girl but not date each other? How could that other Violet be a teenage adoptive mother? And why is everyone named Mike?

Blueberry: The last question is valid.

Blueberry: Btw, I will call you Michael from now on.

Angsty: Why?

Blueberry: Well, when there is three Mike's I know, I want to know who's who.

Blueberry: Plus, since you are literally the worlds angstiest know-it-all, I figured "Michael" was a good choice to call you.

Squirrel: I have no clue who the other two Mike's are, but I approve of calling him Michael aswell.

Angsty: Why are you like this

Squirrel: Because we were chosen by Willy Wonka. He obviously chose the most mean and brattiest kids in the world

Candy man: I am not mean or bratty. I'm just Augustus Gloop.

Blueberry: And Augustus.

Angel boy: And me? Am I a brat?

Blueberry: No, you're just Charlie Bucket. "The hero".

Angsty: Violet please add me in the group chat.

Blueberry: 1. Why do you want to be in the groupchat when you just annoy everyone?

Blueberry: 2. You're the skilled hacker of us. Why can't you just add yourself back in.

Angsty: ...

Angel boy: Can I join the chat, Violet?

Blueberry: Sure! I'm looking forward to see their reactions to the boy who lives in a factory.

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Angel boy has joined the chat._

Angel boy: Wait, you're still named the nickname they gave you in a chat?

Blueberry: Eyup!

Blueberry: Everyone, this is my friend Charlie. Be nice to him. He's the friend who lives in a factory.

Trashmouth: WAIT IT'S HIM

Sassy Sappho: FACTORY BOY

Zoomer: FRESH MEAT

Blueberry: I said BE NICE

Purple Ed: Don't mind them, Charlie. They are the feral dogs of this chat.

Sassy Sappho: I identify more with cats than dogs, thank you.

Purple Ed: We know, you're secretly Marie from Aristocats.

Angel boy: Pleasure being here! What's everyone's names?

Angel boy: I know Blueberry, of course.

Purple Ed: I'm Violet Baudelaire.

Zoomer: Max Mayfield.

Trashmouth: Richie.

Sassy Sappho: Isadora.

Backpacker: Quigley. Quigley Quagmire. I'm Isadora's brother.

Angel boy: Ooh, older or younger?

Backpacker: We're the same age. We're triplets.

Trashmouth: And then there's the Mike's.

Trashmouth: Seriously, I don't know who's who. We need to make nicknames.

The Detective: Richie, you know very well I am Mike Hanlon. We have known each other for quite a while now. But for the rest, you're allowed to call me Mikey.

Palladin: And I am Mike Wheeler, and you may still call me Mike.

Angel boy: Pleasure meeting you!

Trashmouth: So Charlie boy, why and how are you living in a factory?

Angel boy: I won it as a prize! After Willy Wonka had that competition about five kids going to his factory.

Zoomer: Who's Willy Wonka?

Blueberry: You- you don't know?

Zoomer: No

Blueberry: Only like, the most famous candymaker in the world?

Angel boy: He had hidden five tickets in his wonka bars! It was a world wide hunt for them!

Trashmouth: Well I haven't noticed a thing

The Detective: I mean we were pretty busy with other stuff, Richie...

Palladin: Yeah, me and Max also had... stuff we focused on during the past year.

Sassy Sappho: Us too. Gosh, it's been a living hell.

Blueberry: I still have no idea what all of you have been through but me and Charlie won tickets. And Charlie won!

The Detective: So this Wonka just gave away his whole factory?

Angel boy: Yeah.

Palladin: I don't know, he sounds a little off-putting.

Blueberry: He is.

Blueberry: You know angsty, who I kicked out?

Backpacker: We don't forget about him that easily.

Blueberry: Well, he is more sure than ever Wonka has spied on us all along and gave us the tickets according to a system.

The Detective: And how did you react to that?

Blueberry: I mean, of course! I'm not suprised at all, actually.

Blueberry: And it's fun, because Michael (that's Angsty) thinks he is a genius for figuring that out!

Purple Ed: May I ask what Willy Wonka did in the factory with you?

Blueberry: Well, I got blown up to a blueberry because of him. Still have bits of blue skin.

Blueberry: ifyoudontbelievemeheresproof.jpg

Trashmouth: wtf

Zoomer: Uh, Charlie

Zoomer: Why did you say yes

Blueberry: I love how you just accept me being blue like nothing

Angel boy: I come from a very poor family, so this was a bit of a step up.

Purple Ed: I just want to know

Purple Ed: Willy Wonka

Purple Ed: Does he do things towards you?

Angel boy: No! He's very friendly towards me. I'm taking over the factory after him.

Trashmouth: Wow

Sassy Sappho: uuuuhh ok then

Angel boy: Eh, don't worry about me! It's christmas!

Palladin: It is!

Trashmouth: Feliz Navidad

Trashmouth: Oh I wish Eddie was in this then I could speak spanish to him

The Detective: Richie, Eddie doesn't know spanish. Eddie's family doesn't even come from any spanish speaking country. He has ancestors who three generations ago were conservative christians from Poland, but he doesn't even know that, because he isn't even religious nor know any polish. I don't even know why I know it.

Trashmouth: Yeah it seems like it's something someone wrote in a small paragraph in a long book where he was included...

Purple Ed: Uhh okay

Trashmouth: Anyway, how does the adoptive teen mother and her two partners celebrate christmas?

Purple Ed: We don't, because we are jewish.

Zoomer: Happy Hanukkah to you!

Zoomer: I did spell that right, right?

Sassy Sappho: Thank you, Max.

Trashmouth: Oh cool, Stanley should've been here.

The Detective: Richie, we will not invite any more of our friends until we really need one of them for something that requires them to join this chat.

Purple Ed: If you're wondering how we are celebrating, then we are celebrating with lots of food and lots of love!

Purple Ed: normalhappyfamily.jpg

Backpacker: I am the one with jelly donuts stuffed in my mouth.

Sassy Sappho: And I am the one doing bunny ears on the toddler

Blueberry: Oh, is that the child you adopted?

Purple Ed: No, the toddler Isadora is doing bunny ears on is Sunny, my sister. She made all the food.

Palladin: But she is so small

Zoomer: Mike, you and I know small things can make a lot

Palladin: Yeah, you're right.

Purple Ed: You want to see something really small?

Purple Ed: mylittlething.jpg

Angel boy: That baby is very sweet!

Sassy Sappho: She is the reason we all haven't just died of despair yet.

The Detective: Hope you all continued to have deligtful days yesterday. Me and Richie went to have a small christmas party with our friends, and I wanted to share some pictures...

The Detective: richiexthemistletoe.jpg

Trashmouth: MIKEY YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T POST THE PICS ON THIS CHAT

The Detective: Beep beep Richie the world needs to see you making out with a mistletoe because no one wanted to stand with you under it.

Trashmouth: michaelinthebathroom.jpg

Trashmouth: Revenge

The Detective: I don't mind people seeing a picture of me dancing in the bathroom, where you can only see my legs and feet anyway.

Zoomer: I ship Richie and the mistletoe.

Sassy Sappho: I second that

The Detective: Don't worry, ladies. Richie got his happy ending with a human later.

Trashmouth: Mikey no

Sassy Sappho: Mikey yes

Zoomer: But Richie x Mistletoe??

The Detective: richieshappyending.mpg

Trashmouth: YOU SENT THE WHOLE VIDEO?!?!?!?

Purple Ed: Waking up and seeing a young teen attacking another shorter young teen and then them aggressively making out while some girl is singing what is love off key is probably the best thing I've woken up to in a long time

Backpacker: But we had a pretty pleasant night too, Violet.

Blueberry: I forgot for a second that Purple Ed is named Violet too and I got so confused to why Quigley was talking about me.

Purple Ed: Oh, we had. Got double kisses.

Purple Ed: doublequagmirekisses.mpg

Zoomer: That is so satisfying to watch???

Zoomer: Violet kissing Isadora. Then kissing Quigley. Then Quigley and Isadora kissing Violet on each cheek.

Sassy Sappho: BUT OUR BROTHERS

Backpacker: Wait what

Sassy Sappho: Quigley do you know what I took without anyones knowledge last night?

Purple Ed: ISADORA WHAT DID OUR BROTHERS DO

Sassy Sappho: secretkisses.jpg

Backpacker: DUNCAN THINKS HE CAN SNEAK A KISS FROM HIS BOYFRIEND AND NOT TELL ME

Purple Ed: KLAUS THINKS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH KISSING HIS BOYFRIEND WITHOUT ME WITNESSING

Purple Ed: Thank you for this, Isadora.

Angel boy: That reminds me of some oompa loompas who thinks no one can see when they flirt with each other!

Palladin: Do I want to know what an oompa loompa is

Blueberry: It's complicated.

Palladin: Well, I got a little kiss yesterday too... did not take a picture, but I did. Max can confirm.

Zoomer: I can. I also got a kiss last night, but Mike cannot confirm because he wasn't there

Palladin: Wait, when??

Zoomer: It was after I went home

Palladin: You went home with El... so El knows?

Zoomer: ;)

Palladin: Ok i'm gonna ask El.

Zoomer: Do that... ;)

Sassy Sappho: I wish Duncan could join, so we could have all the Quagmire triplets gathered.

Backpacker: Me too, sis. One day we will force him to join. Just you wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions about which character you want to be added to the crossover chat, please tell me!


	9. People guess things out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, many characters had been at different parties with their friends. Max said she got a kiss from someone, and the only witness was El. So now, Mike tries to get El to tell.  
At the same time, Ben Hanscom is interested in joining the big groupchat... will he join? And will someone else join, too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I wrote this in class because I had nothing to do.

_The Party_

Palladin: Hey, El

Mage: Yeah?

Palladin: Max said she got a kiss yesterday after our little christmas party.

Mage: Yeah, she did.

Ranger: Max, can you tell who that was?

Zoomer: I don't know Lucas, can I?

Palladin: El, you were the only one who went with her. Can you tell us?

Mage: I promised Max not to

Mage: Also, I don't want to tell. It's a secret between us.

Ranger: Dammit.

Palladin: But... can I guess?

Zoomer: You can probably try.

Bard: I want to try to guess too! Steve says I can often guess right when it comes to these things.

Zoomer: Good luck.

Cleric: Lmao

Zoomer: What are you laughing about, Will?

Cleric: Nah, nothing. I had idea, but I think that would only really be possible in my imagination.

Bard: Ok???

Palladin: Do we know the person

Zoomer: Yes

Mage: Yes

Ranger: Uhhhh I'll be back I will think about everyone I know who is in an appropriate age.

Zoomer: Ok good luck.

_The Losers club_

Little heart: Hello losers! Haven't heard from you since the party.

Winter fire: Hi Ben <3

Winter fire: I still have a headache from the party guys

Trashmouth: Me too

Winter fire: I bet your pants are aching too, Rich

Softie: Beverly please don't make this a thing

Winter fire: What? That you and trashmouth made out like two feral dogs on the floor?

Stutter: While Beverly sang off key

Bird Whisperer: I'm glad you're my friends.

Trashmouth: Fun fact: A Mike in that big groupchat also had a party with his friends

The Detective: Oh yeah, Max said she had kissed someone.

The Detective: I wonder how it went.

Little heart: I want to join the groupchat so badly. It seems fun

The Detective: No, Ben, you're too innocent

Trashmouth: Awesome! I'll send you a link right now!

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Little heart joined the chat._

Blueberry: Yay new person

Little heart: Hello i'm Ben. I like to write poems and my friends call me sweet.

Sassy Sappho: I like poems too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Backpacker: Jesus Isadora

Purple Ed: Isadora lmfao take it easy

Purple Ed: Also hi welcome we are nice here

Backpacker: Yeah that angsty guy is gone 

Little heart: Oh I have heard about that boy

Purple Ed: Never encountered someone more annoying than him

Blueberry: Actually, there is a more annoying person than him...

Sassy Sappho: Oh no

Blueberry: Oh yes

Blueberry: It's weird, because she is often forgotten... which there is a reason for, I guess.

Sassy Sappho: What's her name?

Blueberry: I can't say that.

Backpacker: Have you forgotten her name?

Blueberry: Oh no, I remember fully. It's just... if I say her name, she'll know.

Little heart: This sounds freaky

Trashmouth: I'm getting Pennywise vibes of this, Ben...

Blueberry: I don't know who pennywise is, but this is a human girl around our age. And she knows... everything.

Blueberry: Even Michael (that was angsty who we kicked out) feared her.

Angel boy: Hi Ben, welcome to this chat! Also Violet (blueberry-Violet), please don't remind me of her. I have nightmares about her.

Trashmouth: This is fucking creepy.

Palladin: Hi new person. This girl sounds scary. Anyway, I'll be taking part of this discussion later, I need to find out who Max was kissing.

Zoomer: Lmao we'll join you in a while

_The Party_

Ranger: Ok Max, i've got it!

Ranger: Troy Harrington!

Zoomer: That kid? Eww

Bard: Well I thought of him too...

Palladin: I haven't come up with anyone!

Palladin: Max wouldn't kiss any boys except for maybe Lucas, but Lucas was with us then

Mage: No, Max wouldn't kiss any boys 

Bard: Uh...

Ranger: Technically she has kissed boys

Zoomer: I think El refers to that night after she and I went home

Palladin: Though, when and where would Max kiss someone with El as her witness?

Cleric: :D

Zoomer: Yeah, Will figured it out btw.

Bard: WILL TELL US

Cleric: NOPE

Mage: Use your brains.

Zoomer: Come on

Ranger: Can you give us a hint

Zoomer: My hint is: I didn't kiss any boys that night

Bard: So you made it up

Zoomer: No?

Bard: But

Palladin: Wait

Palladin: Will

Palladin: How did you figure it out

Cleric: It's a special radar I have ;)

Ranger: Radar???????????

Mage: I have a hint: I was explaining to Max how Mike kisses me

Palladin: How did you explain it?

Mage: I didn't explain

Palladin: But then

Zoomer: "SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING" oh shit

Palladin: Wait

Ranger: Wait

Bard: What wait

Zoomer: It felt like someone was gonna eat up my insides. Jesus christ, Mike, how do you kiss girls?

Palladin: But I didn't kiss you- waIT WHAT

Mage: But Max tasted like strawberry as usual

Ranger: A S U S U A L ? ?

Mage: Max and I practice kissing sometimes. I like kissing her better than Mike.

Zoomer: <3

Palladin: Uhh

Palladin: We will talk about this later, but right now I need to hear about that scary girl Violet told us about

_What lucky loser parties are for_

Palladin: I'm here again

Zoomer: This guy is oblivious. How's it going?

Sassy Sappho: I really want to know her name

Blueberry: Alright. I have her on my block list. Lemme send a screenshot

Blueberry: shesintheleft.jpg

Zoomer: I can't see the picture

Zoomer: It says it's blocked

Blueberry: What??

Little heart: That's strange

Blueberry: Ok but I can't say her name out loud she will immediately haunt me.

Angel boy: She will haunt US

Angel boy: I just asked mr. Wonka if he remembered her and he looked like he was going to faint

Trashmouth: Charlie I always forget you live in a fucking factory

Blueberry: Ok i'll spell it out... hopefully she won't haunt us.

Blueberry: Mir

Blueberry: Anda

Blueberry: Pi

Blueberry: Ker

Sassy Sappho: Ok

_Miranda Piker has joined the chat._

Trashmouth: DJKRUFLIOJQUEUREKIYH

Sassy Sappho: OK WHAT THE FUCK

The Detective: Hi I was busy today and read everything now and HOLY SHIT

Blueberry: Everyone. Hide. Now.


	10. The elimination of Miranda Piker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miranda Piker has joined the chat somehow!! :o   
Will the groupchat solve where she came from or will they kick her out? Could it be possible that she is a walking virus who can't be erased?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were there when a very infamous person in the asoue fandom joined the VFDiscord, you might see resemblences in this...

_What lucky loser parties are for_

Miranda Piker: Hello.

Blueberry: HOW DID YOU GET INTO THIS CHAT

Angel boy: PLEASE ANSWER

Miranda Piker: I just wanted to join.

Sassy Sappho: U can't join this chat without an invite. No one here has invited you.

Miranda Piker: I invited myself.

Trashmouth: You can't do that that's illegal.

Purple Ed: Hi Miranda. I don't know a lot about you, but can you please tell us how the fuck you could join.

Purple Ed: Also, maybe tell a little about yourself?

Miranda Piker: I am what most people would call a "cautionary tale". Most people pretend I don't exist, because they are afraid of me.

Zoomer: Ok mood tho

Backpacker: What's you relationship to Charlie and Violet? They seem to know you.

Miranda Piker: I went to the same factory tour as them once...

Palladin: Wait, I thought it was only five people on that tour they told us about? Not six?

Miranda Piker: No, because six is a cursed number.

Angel boy: Willy Wonka doesn't really like to mention her, either...

Sassy Sappho: That's mean.

Miranda Piker: Yeah... you have probably heard what happened to all the other children... not me. What happened to me is not something people like to speak about.

Trashmouth: You're making it sound like you died or something.

Blueberry: RICHIE SHUT UP

Angel Boy: DON'T ENCOURAGE HER

Trashmouth: What?

Miranda Piker: Well...

Blueberry: Oh no oh fuck!!!!!

Miranda Piker: I knew every little thing about Willy Wonka before the tour. I knew all about the other children before. I made my research.

Miranda Piker: Charlie Bucket. Charming boy. He wouldn't hurt a fly. I knew he was gonna win. Willy Wonka has a specific taste for what children he likes.

Palladin: Wtf

Miranda Piker: Violet Beauregarde, Augustus Gloop, Veruca Salt. All three the brattiest children you'd meet. Every room was obviously designed for them, just them. And I helped them on the way... told Augustus the best place to drink the chocolate was where the edge leaned over the most. Encouraged Violet to keep chewing, even after she herself wanted to spit it out. Managed to keep the gate down to the squirrels locked until it was too late.

Blueberry: I hate you so much.

_Miranda Piker has been kicked out of the chat!_

_Miranda Piker has joined the chat._

Miranda Piker: Now, that was unneccessary.

Angel Boy: You are the only person I generally despise.

_Miranda Piker has been blocked from the chat!_

_Miranda Piker has joined the chat._

Miranda Piker: Don't try.

Sassy Sappho: What- we blocked you!

Blueberry: I told you she's worse than Michael.

Miranda Piker: Michael

Zoomer: Oh, we know three Michaels. But we call them Michael, Mike and Mikey to keep them apart

Miranda Piker: Mike

Blueberry: Max, stop speaking to her. Ignore.

Little heart: Hi, what did I miss?

Trashmouth: We are being haunted by someone who maybe died.

Little heart: Oh. Hi, maybe-dead person. I'm Ben.

The Detective: Hi! I'm Mike, but you can call me Mikey.

Miranda Piker: Mike

Backpacker: Is she ok?

Miranda Piker: **MICHAEL**

Sassy Sappho: HOW CAN YOU TYPE IN SUCH THICK TEXT CAN SOMEONE TEACH ME

Blueberry: Omg... wait.

_The lucky five_

Blueberry: Michael, you can go back into the big groupchat.

Angsty: Oh, any specific reason for that?

Angel Boy: Michael... we need you. She's back.

Squirrel: Who?

Blueberry: Her...

Candy man: Wait... who?

Blueberry: If I say her name, she might enter this chat too. Please, Michael.

Angsty: Oh alright...

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Angsty has joined the chat._

Angsty: I am here because Violet said you needed me.

Sassy Sappho: Oh right your name is Mike too. 

Miranda Piker: Mike...........

Angsty: Oh fuck no

Angsty: I appreciate you calling me in, Violet. I'm the only one who can handle this bitch

Trashmouth: SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOOOOOOWN

Trashmouth: Imma screen everything and send it to my friendgroup.

Purple Ed: Saaaame maybe we can recruit someone more of our friends

Angsty: Good day, Miranda.

Miranda Piker: Mike Teavee

Angsty: That is me. Now, care to tell me what you are doing here?

Miranda Piker: I know you, Mike Teavee.

Angsty: Good. I know you, too. I know everything you did.

Miranda Piker: I despise you.

Angsty: Because I pushed you?

Angel Boy: Wait, when did you push her?

Angsty: Willy Wonka erased your memory, Charlie, because you fainted when you saw it.

Miranda Piker: I hate you.

Angsty: I see you haven't told them about what happened in the powder room.

Blueberry: I really want to know.

Angsty: You, Miranda Piker, were so horrible to everyone else that I decided to give you a taste of your own medicine. 

Miranda Piker: I hope you die.

Angsty: Just like you did?

Trashmouth: SO SHE DID DIE

Sassy Sappho: WHAT THE FUCK

Angsty: I just pushed you a bit so taunt you. It was yourself who walked towards the powder machine, and let the oompa loompas throw you inside.

Angsty: The whole room smelled like blood and mucus.

Angel Boy: Is is why the powder room is locked?

Miranda Piker: **MIKE TEAVEE**

Sassy Sappho: Seriously, how do you type the letters like that??

Angsty: We all may have been bratty at the chocolate factory, but atleast I got to make a mistake without you witnessing. You are a wicked girl, Miranda Piker.

Miranda Piker: Mike

Angsty: Yeah?

_Miranda Piker has left the chat._

Blueberry: Holy shit it worked???

The Detective: I thought it would take much longer than it did.

Angsty: Perhaps you could let me stay here? In case she comes back.

Backpacker: Yeah, Michael. You're forgiven.


	11. The red-haired gang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now when Miranda is gone, then maybe the people in the group chat can get some of their friends to join?

_The Losers club_

Trashmouth: deadgirltyping.jpg

Stutter: What the fuck is that from?

Trashmouth: The big groupchat me and Mikey are in

Trashmouth: A dead girl haunted us so we had to get that annoying Michael to get her out.

Trashmouth: howshedied.jpg

Little heart: It was a bit freaky, to be honest.

The Detective: "A bit freaky" , yes

Winter fire: Lmao she just joined by someone typing her name

Winter fire: I wonder

Winter fire: PENNYWISE

Bird whisperer: Bev please no

Trashmouth: PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN HAS JOINED THE CHAT.

The Detective: Richie, no one buys that

Stutter: That groupchat seems a bit intense

Winter fire: Yeah can I join

Softie: I like how no one questions that dead girl to be able to type

Trashmouth: If we have seen a demon from another dimension then we believe ghosts can haunt group chats.

Winter fire: But can I join

The Detective: NO

Trashmouth: YES

Softie: ...good luck guys

_What friends are for_

Purple Ed: Hi guys! Does anyone from here want to join that chat me, Isadora and Quigley is in? We have very fun

Dictionary: No, Violet, I will not.

The Informer: And I will not join if Klaus does not join.

Triangle Eyes: Stubborns boyfriends, aren't you

Dictionary: Define "boyfriends".

Triangle Eyes: You're the dictionary, Klaus.

Backpacker: Lmao

Dictionary: I have no idea what you're talking about

Sassy Sappho: We know you two made out in the other room last time we all saw each other

The Informer: What??

Backpacker: And we got proof

Sassy Sappho: gaybrothers.jpg

The Informer: WHAT

Dictionary: It looks like Beatrice took that picture

Purple Ed: That's because Beatrice took that picture.

Purple Ed: Alright. We'll try again next time. Unless Fiona wants to join?

Triangle Eyes: Nah. I'll wait.

_The lucky five_

Candy man: Who was it that Michael had to talk to yesterday?

Angsty: It was Miranda Piker.

Blueberry: DON'T SAY HER NAME SHE MIGHT COME HERE

Angsty: No, she doesn't like me. We're safe

Angel boy: It was freaky

Candy man: But is it safe now? To join the chat, I mean.

Angel boy: Yeah, come on in!

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Candy man has joined the chat._

_Winter fire has joined the chat._

Trashmouth: Heeeeeeeeeeeey this is Bev everyone

Blueberry: Oh and Augustus joined. He's as pure as Charlie so be kind

Winter fire: Be kind to everyone

Winter fire: I'm Bev btw

Candy man: Hi, i'm Augustus! ^.^

Zoomer: Hi guys, i'm Max. Bev, why are you named winter fire?

Winter fire: A certain boy made a poem about me

Little heart: Her hair is truly winter fire. It's very red <3

Candy man: My hair is red, too!

Zoomer: Oohh so is mine

The Detective: And so is Bill's, but he's not here. Is everyone gonna gush about red hair now or something?

Winter fire: Yeah! Red hair

Zoomer: Red hair! Red hair! Red hair!

Winter fire: WOOOOOOh

Candy man: I have never thought so much about my hair color, but my mother says I have hair shaped like a pretzel!

Sassy Sappho: Ooooh lemme see that

Angel boy: Augustus, do you need help sending pictures? If you want to send pictures, that is.

Candy man: myhair.jpg

Little heart: That's very nice, Augustus!

Candy man: I think I like this chat.

Backpacker: Great! We will be having lots of fun!

Winter fire: I can't wait to get to know everyone here!


	12. Some Reddie content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Augustus and Beverly joined the big groupchat. Richie seems to try to get his maybe-boyfriend in there, too. Will he make it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly the losers club spamming shit that's hard to follow. But hey, that's a real groupchat.

_The Losers club_

Trashmouth: Hey Eds

Trashmouth: Eds

Trashmouth: EDDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Softie: What do you want?

Trashmouth: Hi

Bird Whisperer: Richie you are not subtle, you know that?

Trashmouth: What the fuck does that mean?

Softie: ???

Winter fire: Hello boys what's up?

Trashmouth: I'm talking to Eddie

Bird Whisperer: And i'm talking to birds, obviously.

Winter fire: Ok...

Stutter: So how's it going in that big groupchat? Anymore ghost girls?

Trashmouth: Nope! Just red hairs!

Stutter: I have red hair...

Trashmouth: Yeah! You should join!

Stutter: I don't know...

Softie: Yeah Richie that chat seems a bit freaky.

Trashmouth: Eddie join

Winter fire: Yeah join and Richie can start chaos in three chats

Bird Whisperer: Wait, three chats?

Winter fire: Have you forgotten the chat with him and me? That bi-solidarity chat us two had?

The Detective: You mean the chat where your father found out you were bisexual?

Winter fire: Uh-huh

Little heart: Yeah Bev, how's it going with your dad?

Winter fire: It's going... fine, I guess. I mean, he's still a piece of garbage but he was worse when Pennywise was active. He's starting to become more like when I was little. Grumpy, but not intimidating. Though, he doesn't really try to teach me to draw anymore.

Trashmouth: That doesn't really sound fine.

Trashmouth: Not teaching you to draw anymore! That's awful! I'm calling CPS!

The Detective: Beep beep, Richie.

Trashmouth: Beep beep yourself, Mikey.

Stutter: Why are we calling him Mikey now again?

Trashmouth: Because that groupchat had three Mikes, so we chose to call our Mike Mikey

Bird Whisperer: Jesus, that sounds chaotic

Trashmouth: I thought you were jewish, Stan.

Little heart: Aren't those Baudelaires and Quagmires jewish, too? They still used expressions like "Jesus".

Trashmouth: Ok ok fair point.

Trashmouth: But Bill Stan Eddie join that chat

Bird Whisperer: I don't really want to join when someone types without using comma.

Little heart: I don't mind that chat so much. There's a girl there who also writes poetry.

Trashmouth: Aww yeah I ship you two.

Winter fire: Richie if you're talking about Isadora, then she's 100% gay

Trashmouth: Wait-

Winter fire: Richard Trashmouth Tozier. Those Quagmire triplets aint straight.

Trashmouth: Ok I KNOW Isadora is like, in some poly relationship with a girl and her brother

The Detective: She isn't together with her brother wtf

Softie: What the hell are you talking about?

Trashmouth: EDDIE JOIN!!!!!

Softie: NO

Winter fire: Edward let your boyfriend invite you to a magical world of crossover chatrooms.

Softie: What's a crossover?

Trashmouth: YOU DIDN'T REACT AT ALL TO THE FACT THAT SHE CALLED ME YOUR BOYFRIEND

Softie: >:(

Winter fire: You have to join now, Eds.

Softie: Ugh fine.

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Softie has joined the chat._

Softie: Richie and Beverly made me.

Sassy Sappho: Hello Softie. I'm Isadora.

Winter fire: This is Richie's boyfriend Eddie :-)

Softie: Shut up, no!

Trashmouth: Oh yes it is

The Detective: We literally have proof

The Detective: reddie.jpg

Softie: IT WAS CHRISTMAS WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WE WERE DOING

Trashmouth: Yes we did. After that kiss we got into bed. We're expecting a baby in may.

Softie: Richie what the absolute fuck.

Purple Ed: Good day, gay boys and girls.

Winter fire: I'm bi

Trashmouth: I'm bi- oh jinx Bev!

Purple Ed: Also dw Eddie, me and Isadora have pics of our brothers kissing and they also deny they are a couple.

Sassy Sappho: cluelessboyfriends.jpg

Softie: Oh god what I have gotten myself into.


	13. Food talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie forced Eddie to join the group chat. Now everyone is hungry.

_What lucky loser parties are for_

Purple Ed: Hey guys i'm hungry.

Trashmouth: Hi hungry i'm Richie

Softie: Richie stop

Winter fire: Ugh i'm hungry too Violet

Candy man: My father has a butcher shop! I'm never starving!

Angsty: Yet you're always hungry, Augustus.

Blueberry: Michael!

Angsty: What?

Sassy Sappho: hey which one of you dorks lived in a fucking chocolate factory

Angel boy: I think that's me.

Angsty: You "think" that's you lmao

Blueberry: Wow Michael you're really on people today.

Sassy Sappho: I wish I lived in a big candy factory but oh well, Sunny's food is just as good.

Candy man: I'm sure it isn't as good as the meat from my fathers butcher shop! :D

Trashmouth: Who tf is Sunny

Purple Ed: My baby sister! She's an excellent chef!

Little heart: Aww! How old is she?

Purple Ed: She just turned three!

Trashmouth: Wha-

Winter fire: A three year old cooking??

Backpacker: That's right!

Purple Ed: Sunnysfoodnr222.jpg

Purple Ed: The dinner she cooked for us yesterday!

Angel boy: Amazing!

Zoomer: Hi guys! What did I miss?

Angsty: Violet uses her sister as a chef slave.

Zoomer: Which Violet?

Purple Ed: Me Violet

Zoomer: Are you the one who's a teenage adoptive mother or the one that became a blueberry and almost exploded because she chewed gum?

Blueberry: Max (was that your name?), i'm named Blueberry for a reason. Guess which Violet I am.

Zoomer: Ah ok. Yeah that makes sense, since I feel like teenage adoptive mother Violet would be more likely to use her sister as a chef slave.

Purple Ed: Well, she's not a slave. She literally forbids us from the kitchen.

Backpacker: Yeah Sunny has gotten into a three year old phase where she wants to do everything by herself without any help.

Purple Ed: Not that she needs help, her cooking is amazing!

Zoomer: Question: Who are you an adoptive mother to?

Purple Ed: Oh, I haven't told you about Beatrice?

Purple Ed: dottir.jpg

Little heart: Fun fact, dottir is icenlandic for daughter.

Trashmouth: No one cares, haystack.

The Detective: Stop calling Ben haystack, Richie!

Trashmouth: Shut up Mikey

The Detective: I write something for once... sigh

Zoomer: Aww! Such a cutie!

Backpacker: She's one and a half now, isn't she, Violet?

Purple Ed: Yeah! She can walk!

Purple Ed: firststeps.mpg

Sassy Sappho: I'm never getting tired of baby pics.

Backpacker: So, guys? I'm changing the subject now. Which one of our friends shall we invite/force to join next?

Zoomer: I want my gal pal El!

Palladin: Yeah Max, but what about Will?

Candy man: We shall invite Veruca! She is the only one of the Lucky 5 who's not in here.

Trashmouth: STANLEY.

Winter fire: YES.

Backpacker: Fiona, maybe?

Purple Ed: Yeah if our brothers doesn't want to join...

Angsty: I feel like this is gonna take a while...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who shall be next?


	14. Boyfriends arrive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some peoples brothers are being convinced to join... will they accept? Also, some more Stranger Things characters arrive.

_What friends are for_

Purple Ed: Klaus join the groupchat.

Sassy Sappho: Duncan join the groupchat.

Dictionary: No.

The informer: No.

Backpacker: Come on, Duncan. We need our triplet power.

The informer: That groupchat seems scary. There's so many people.

Sassy Sappho: Oh please they can't see or hear you.

Purple Ed: Besides, i'm forcing Klaus to join too.

Dictionary: I refuse

Triangle Eyes: I love how no one is forcing me to join.

Sassy Sappho: Yeah Fiona but don't worry we will force you soon enough too.

Purple Ed: Klaus are you sure you don't want to join. Not even if...

Purple Ed: Bea.jpg

Dictionary: AAAH

Purple Ed: You can't resist the chubby cheeks of Beatrice

Dictionary: OKAY OKAY I'LL JOIN

Sassy Sappho: Yaaay that means Duncan also can join

Backpacker: Duncan your boyfriend will join so now you gotta join

The informer: Ugh fine.

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Dictionary has joined the chat._

_The informer has joined the chat._

Purple Ed: We did it we got our brothers in!

The informer: Hello.

Dictionary: Hi.

Sassy Sappho: They are boyfriends <33333

The informer: Ignore her.

Angsty: Which one of you is the triplet to Isadora and Quigley?

The informer: I am. Duncan is my name.

The informer: Who are you?

Angsty: I'm Mike Teavee, but people on this chat likes to call me "Michael".

Palladin: I'm Mike Wheeler, but just call me Mike.

Zoomer: Oooh we're inviting boyfriends?

Zoomer: I'm Max btw

Dictionary: We are not boyfriends

Trashmouth: That's what Eddie says about me, too.

Softie: WE ARE NOT BOYFRIENDS RICHIE

Winter fire: Lol yes you are boys

Zoomer: Mike we gotta invite Will so you can have your boyfriend here.

Palladin: Will and I are not boyfriends.

Zoomer: Oh yes you are.

Winter fire: Richie&Eddie (handshake) Duncan&Klaus (handshake) Mike&Will = "We are not boyfriends"

Trashmouth: Hey Beverly I admitted

Palladin: Okay Max what about you and El

Zoomer: Yes we are 100% dating and I can admit that.

Winter fire: PREACH GIRL

Sassy Sappho: PREAAACH

Palladin: Alright shall we ask them

Zoomer: We shall.

_The party_

Zoomer: WILLIAAAAAAAM

Cleric: Huh?

Zoomer: Your boyfriend wants you to join that groupchat.

Palladin: Sigh.

Cleric: Oh okay.

Palladin: Wait

Ranger: Omg Will

Bard: Since when...!!!

Cleric: ?

Mage: I didn't know Will and Mike dated.

Palladin: ME NEITHER

Zoomer: AHAHA

Cleric: We're not dating I was just... not thinking twice

Ranger: Too late now Willy

Bard: You two are dating now the end

Cleric: That's fine by me <3

Palladin: NO

Zoomer: YES

Palladin: NO

Ranger: YES

Palladin: NO

Bard: YES

Palladin: NO

Mage: YES

Palladin: NO

Cleric: YES

Palladin: YES

Palladin: Wait-

Bard: OOOOOOOOOOHHOOHOHOHOHOHOH

Zoomer: I'M LYING ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW I'M DYING

Palladin: Will... please just join the groupchat.

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Cleric has joined the chat._

Zoomer: Mike, why don't you introduce him? ;)

Palladin: This is Will.

Backpacker: Yes?

Palladin: He is my friend

Zoomer: His very close friend.

Blueberry: Oh?

Palladin: He's my

Zoomer: B

Zoomer: O

Zoomer: Y

Zoomer: F

Palladin: Max stop

Cleric: Mike??

Palladin: This is Will and he is my boyfriend.

Cleric: <3333333333333333333

Sassy Sappho: uWu

Sassy Sappho: DUNCAN CAN YOU BE SO BRAVE

The informer: SHUT UP

Dictionary: Can we please change subject?

Angel boy: Hello people! What's up?

Sassy Sappho: Hello Charlie! We are witnessing boys being in denial.

Angel boy: Oh.

Sassy Sappho: I'm glad I realised I was a girl early in life.

Angel boy: Oh same, but that I was a boy.

Angsty: Wait.

Angsty: Charlie??

Angel boy: Oh, didn't you know?

Angsty: No?? You didn't tell me that? 

Angel boy: Well I had no reason to I guess.

Sassy Sappho: lol

Zoomer: Will welcome to this chat we have much fun discussions.

Cleric: Thank you. I'm sure I will have fun.


	15. Dustin thinks twice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features all of the stranger things characters.
> 
> It characters featured: Ben (Little heart)
> 
> Asoue characters featured: Violet (Purple Ed), Quigley (Backpacker), Duncan (The informer) and Isadora (Sassy Sappho)

_The Party_

Bard: So was anyone gonna tell me about Steve and Robin

Ranger: What has Steve and Robin done now

Bard: They are a couple!!

Zoomer: lol what

Cleric: uh nice joke

Bard: What do you mean 

Zoomer: Dustin... have they told you they are a couple?

Bard: No, but I saw them!

Ranger: Saw them, huh?

Bard: Yes! They were holding hands and giggling, okay? They are obviously a couple!

Cleric: But you haven't like... asked them?

Bard: No? I don't need to ask them, I know!

Palladin: Dustin, no.

Palladin: Even I know they are not a couple.

Mage: Even _I _know.

Bard: Know what?

Zoomer: Dustin... next time you're going to the video store, take a look at them closer... and you'll see.

Bard: Ok?

_What lucky loser parties are for_

Zoomer: Our friend think two people we know are a couple.

Little heart: Are they a couple?

Cleric: No

Zoomer: No

Palladin: Lol no

Purple Ed: Lemme guess

Sassy Sappho: PIINK TRIANGLEE HONESTYYY~ ??

Palladin: I don't know if that is a song or what?

Sassy Sappho: It's a song

Backpacker: WEEE WERE GOOOD AS MARRIED IN MY MIIIIIND

The informer: BUT MARRIED IN MY MIND'S NO GOOD

Cleric: I haven't heard the song either but yes.

Sassy Sappho: Yes as in "one of them is a lesbian"?

Zoomer: Yes.

Sassy Sappho: Lmao I just assumed it was a boy and a girl

Cleric: Didn't we have a similar conversation with Dustin when he didn't know I was gay

Palladin: Oh yeah we did! What the heck

Zoomer: He never learns.

Cleric: Hey Dustin just typed something.

Zoomer: Wow, already? He must've been close to the video store.

Little heart: Good luck, guys, and tell us all about it.

_The party_

Bard: Uh, hi.

Zoomer: That was fast.

Ranger: If you mean "that was fast" as Dustin has been in the video store, then it was fast.

Bard: Yes, I was just outside the video store when we chatted earlier.

Palladin: So, how did it go?

Bard: Uh

Bard: I feel slightly dumb.

Cleric: Oh?

Ranger: Tell us every little detail of what happened.

Bard: So I walked in and Steve noticed me immediately. I told him I was only gonna look around, so he went back to talking to Robin.

Bard: And then they joked about something, so I was studying how they laugh when they are around each other.

Palladin: Of course.

Bard: Then a girl walked in and both of them smirked at her like idiots.

Bard: Steve has that face when he's attracted to someone.

Bard: But Robin had the exact same face.

Zoomer: Oooh

Bard: Which could only mean...

Palladin: Yes.

Bard: So I walked up to them and asked if they were dating.

Ranger: Dude what

Zoomer: Dustin noooo

Cleric: Omg

Bard: They gave me an awkward look.

Ranger: Dustin should we get you an ice cream

Bard: Steve said no and Robin laughed at me.

Bard: Yes please :c

Bard: Anyway, they explained everything and I facepalmed.

Mage: But if you knew before you asked, why did you ask?

Ranger: Because he is stupid.

Bard: Shut up!

Zoomer: Dustin. Join the big groupchat. They have to know about your mistake.

Bard: No!

Zoomer: No listen there's a boy there who did a similar mistake, I think he needs someone who has similar experiences.

Bard: Ok?

Cleric: Join dude

Bard: Ok, but if anyone mocks me i'm out

Zoomer: Sweetie, everyone mocks everyone.

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Bard has joined the chat._

Bard: I have done something embarrasing and my friends wanted me to tell it in this big chat.

Sassy Sappho: Welcome <3

Purple Ed: We have all done embarrasing things. Spill it.

Bard: Okay.


	16. The lucky five together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dustin joined the big chat last chapter. The CATCF-gang is trying to get their final member into the big club. Will they convince her? Well, i'm the author so I decide that!

_What lucky loser parties are for_

Purple Ed: Ok so we need to invite more friends

Softie: Why? This group has plenty of people.

Trashmouth: Eddie just wants me for himself ;)

Softie: Wtf Richie stop

Blueberry: So how are y'all doing?

Cleric: Pretty good!

Sassy Sappho: I found some violets in a nearby garden so I am inspired and happy

Backpacker: Isadora it's my date night with Violet not yours

Purple Ed: Aaah to be popular... I love it

Sassy Sappho: Fine i'll just give them to Fiona then

Dictionary: Is Fiona in this chat?

The informer: No, I don't think so. Everyone but her is in this.

Blueberry: It's the same with Veruca.

Angel boy: Yeah, we should invite Veruca!

Angsty: Oh please she will mock everyone.

Blueberry: Just like half of the other people here?

Zoomer: Oh, mocker? At what scale?

Angsty: To the scale of calling someone dumb for willingly jumping into a teleporter that shrinks you.

Zoomer: Wtf

Trashmouth: I- what?

Blueberry: Yeah, we were all kind of stupid in that factory

Candy man: I almost drowned in chocolate

Sassy Sappho: That sounds terrifying and delicious.

Candy man: It was mostly terrifying. I have a picture.

Candy man: themosttraumaticpictureever.jpg

Sassy Sappho: AAH DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW

The informer: GAH

Winter fire: I have seen people die and that picture was more terrifying

Angel boy: Who took that picture?

Candy man: Veruca?

Angsty: How the fuck did she take a picture like that...

Angsty: I'll be right back.

_The lucky five_

Angsty: Hey Veruca did you take a creepy picture of Augustus in the pipe

Squirrel: Yeah

Angsty: How did you do that?

Squirrel: Bold of you to assume I have a normal phone that takes normal pictures.

Angsty: And you think me, Michael Teavee, doesn't have an unusual phone?

Squirrel: Oh I bet you do, since you could get out the ghost of Miranda Piker.

Squirrel: But you don't know how to take a proper photo

Blueberry: Oh did I walk into a sass fight

Angsty: No one is sassing anyone, Violet.

Blueberry: Veruca would you like to join the big chat we have fun

Squirrel: Sure

Candy man: Wow that was easy

_What lucky loser parties are for_

_Squirrel has joined the chat._

Blueberry: We got her

Blueberry: The lucky five collection is completed.

Squirrel: Hello, nice to meet everybody.

Zoomer: I love how Violet describes your little gang as a collection, as if this is a video game or a collection of characters on cards.

Trashmouth: Now a special offer! Pay for one loser and get two! 50% extra if the pair you buy is Richie and Eddie

Softie: RICHIE STFU

Squirrel: Oh this place seems very promising.

Blueberry: Oh it is. It definetly is.


	17. Triangle Eyes has arrived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for short chapter, I wanted to come up with more but I just couldn't.

_What friends are for_

The informer: Yo, why did I hear someone scream?

Dictionary: Oh, Beatrice is taking a bath and she thought it was too cold

Purple Ed: KLAUS WHAT DID YOU DO TO BEATRICE

Dictionary: I'M GIVING BEATRICE A BATH LIKE A GOOD CARETAKER WHO WANTS THE CHILD THEY CARE FOR TO BE HEALTHY AND CLEAN

Purple Ed: WHY ARE YOU ON YOUR PHONE WHILE YOU'RE BATHING A BABY

Dictionary: I WAS REPLYING TO DUNCAN

Purple Ed: IS YOUR BOYFRIEND MORE IMPORTANT THAN A HELPLESS BABY WHO MIGHT DROWN IN THE BATHTUB IF NOT SUPERVISED EVERY SECOND

_Sassy Sappho took a screenshot!_

The informer: Isadora... what are you gonna do with that screenshot?

_ What lucky loser parties are for _

Sassy Sappho: teenparenttroubles.jpg

Dictionary: ISADORA WHY

Cleric: Wow I didn't know you were teen parents

Zoomer: Wait Will you didn't?? We have literally discussed this multiple times

Cleric: Well not everyone has been here all the time

Purple Ed: Well me and Klaus and our baby sister Sunny is unofficial caretakers to a girl who's not documented so she actually doesn't exist

Cleric: Makes sense

_ What friends are for _

Dictionary: Isadora put her screenshot in the big chat

Triangle Eyes: Oh what did the people say

Sassy Sappho: It was only one dude who didn't know about Klaus and Violet being teen parents

Triangle Eyes: Aw that sounds boring

Triangle Eyes: Can I join?

Sassy Sappho: YES

_ What lucky loser parties are for _

_Triangle Eyes joined the chat!_

Triangle Eyes: Heya people, i'm Fiona. I'm 19, she/her

Sassy Sappho: Oh we are introducing pronouns?

Angsty: Well we already know everyone here, but welcome Fiona.


End file.
